The Way to a Woman’s Heart!

The way to a man’s Heart is through his stomach; fine but then what is the way to a woman’s heart?

Am I going eerie with the choice of topic? No not exactly; and I can explain.

A few months back (6 February 2015), around 2 in the morning, I was “WhatsApping” my mate Manzoor (Manz) in the US. Yes, in this day and age of social media, I am also part of a chat group that has hundred odd members (women enjoying majority for a change) all graduated from the same school in New Delhi. The discussions took some turns before we reached at a point where we were discussing food (good food actually) and how men in general would fall for food apart from “other billion incentives” in the world. It went on for sometime until I somehow forced Manz to think hard on if the way to a man’s heart is really through his stomach.  He was surely fed up by the discussion we were having (a couple of hours since we started) until curious me asked him another question, what do you think is the way to a woman’s heart? He gave up; or shall I say I can’t print his explicit response here. Another mate Surav (India) who also joined the discussion answered, “to listen”! I liked that; and by the end of the day I had the following responses to the same question I posed to others to see their reactions (please note here that I emphasised to one and all that I need a one word answer):

• Ms Deepali (India)- Tender Love and Care combined with Loyalty!
• Ms Anila (Germany) - listen at all times, do small caring things like buying flowers, smell nice, neat and clean at all times, can talk nicely to other people, is respectful to others, help their friends in need, like kids, just be there and listen to her in difficult times- oh she didn’t finish there!
• Ms Vinita (UK) – Respect
• Ms Shilpa (India) – Respect
• Ms Sujata (India) – Respect
• Ms Neha (India)- Loyalty and Good Communication skills

In the interim I also posted the same question at my Facebook account and to some of my work colleagues. Here is a sample of their responses:

• Mr P (UK) - Displays of affection, caring and attention work, both open displays and private, attentive listening.
• Mr F (UK) - On the basis of equality - through her stomach. But on the basis of experience- communicating with her and saying those beautiful things that you know can reach her heart.
• Ms K (Italy) - Kindness and then hope to get lucky!
• Mr D (Canada)- Champagne
• Mr M (US) - Be the man she thinks you are!
• Ms A (Afghanistan) – Respect
• Mr Khalil (Afghanistan) – Loyalty
• Mr MM (Poland) –Flowers
• Ms SD (Switzerland) – Bank Account
• Ms D (Australia) - Respect

I then also carried out some Internet search and found that many people have expressed their views/opinions but one of the famous personality, Frank Dune puts it that “The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet!” A shoe business also wrote, “The way to a woman's heart is through her sole”!

Look, by no means I claim this collation of responses to be a scientific sampling but there is no doubt that the people who responded represented a big geographic coverage and were of certain intellect/skillset.

I then sat on this information for a couple of months thinking everyday did I actually get a response I was after or was I really after this information? I was not convinced as I felt surely there was something missing. All I had done was to ask people to complete an expression, which I thought should have existed in any case (Note: I firmly believe women all around the world are hardly treated equally). However the thing that jolted me then was Leslee Udwin’s film (a BBC Documentary) India's Daughter. I was simply blown away- actually felt disgusted being a man. Not that I was not aware of the rape incident (23 year old woman gang raped and then inhumanly killed) that shook India and the whole wide world in December 2012. But the impact the movie made on me was deep. A beautiful soul who was ready to take the world by storm was no more with in a matter of few hours; and countless such incidents against women are happening everyday both in India and in the world.

While the above story was still fresh in my mind, an Afghan woman Farkhunda was lynched in Kabul last month. I was devastated again to read what happened there!  Do men not read and/or see such news?

I am not going to present any statistical data on crimes against women in South East Asia or for that matter in the world but one thing is clear that even in this 21 century women in general are discriminated to say the least (please pick up any news paper/report and see it for yourself). I know I can argue my case and am confident that I can defend it well too. However I am not going that route at least at this instant. 

A good thing however that resulted seeing these two recent pieces of news was that: a) it made me determined to write this article; and b) I found an answer to my initial quest. Therefore I believe:

The Way to a Woman’s Heart is by giving her RESPECT!^©

Finally, I do not claim to be a gender expert. I will be happy though if through this article I could bring or atleast initiate a positive change in the thinking of those who are behind heinous crimes against women and those who treat them as an object- its wake up time guys!

PS: I dedicate this article to all the women of this world including the one’s whose names may not have appeared here (but they are in my thoughts), Ms J Singh (New Delhi gang rape victim) and Farkhunda!